“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye?” (Matthew 7:3-4)
I’ve been married for almost 15 years now, and during that time, I’ve learned quite a few lessons about the dynamics of relationships. I’ve discovered some DOs and DON’Ts, some helpful tips — but what I want to share with you today is what I consider to be the most powerful relationship tool. And it’s not a book, it’s not a seminar, and it’s not even a sermon. It’s actually a mirror.
Yes, you read that right — a mirror. Let me explain.
One of the biggest problems in our relationships is our propensity to play the blame game. Instead of accepting our half of the responsibility, we often shift 100% of it to the other person. We become so focused on their issues that we become completely blind to our own.
But the key to fixing our relationships isn’t fixing other people; it’s fixing ourselves. To see change, you have to begin by looking in the mirror and reflecting on what God wants to change in your own heart — not someone else’s.
No matter how hard you try, no matter how much you want to, you can’t change someone else. Trying to do so will not improve your relationship — it will actually make it worse. If you want to build better relationships, start by letting God first build a better you.